How to Change the Television Channel

1. Ask your roommate John to give you the remote.

2. When he says no, shout at him, “Holy fuck we have seen this exact Sportscenter already!”

3. In a rage, storm off to Best Buy and purchase your own goddamn TV. See if they have any deals on LCD screens but don’t let the guy upsell you. You don’t need to go all out on a spite television.

4. Drive back and set up your TV right next to John’s. That’ll fucking show him. Turn it on.

5. Using the remote hit the up or down channel arrows to change the channel. Maybe you want to watch Meerkat Manor.

6. Realize you don’t even want to watch TV anymore; it’s fucking ruined. Think you’ll use this energy in a productive way like running. Eat a bag of Dorritos and fall asleep.

7. Congratulations, you have successfully changed the television channel!