1. Sell your first book for several hundred thousand
dollars. You had a charmed life but still managed to write gritty detective
fiction as if you had grown up in Raymond Chandler’s nightmares. Brilliant.
2. Buy a Ford Mustang. God, you always loved that car for some
reason. The cool kids used to have them and now you are one of them. You did
it.
3. Marry that bitch Jennifer. You love her and it seems like
she loves you. But don’t worry. It won’t last.
4. Sell your Mustang during the divorce. Of course, she
won’t sell all those goddamn shoes she bought online while you were struggling
to match the success of your debut novel.
5. Don’t even worry about transportation just yet. Tell
yourself it’s actually a good thing that you had to sell your Mustang. Nothing
is preventing you from sitting down and writing. Use everything you are feeling
and write.
6. Despite the focus and emotion, fail. No one will like
this book. Why isn’t it more like the last one? Why haven’t you gotten any
better since the last one?
7. Settle for the job with the friend of your dad because,
hey, you have to eat.
8. In order to get to this tomb of a job you are going to
need a car. Your friend Barry who you don’t talk to as much since his wife is
Jennifer’s best friend will take you to get the Corolla.
9. Congratulations, you have successfully bought a Toyota
Corolla!
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